Winter months are hard on me. They aren't just taxing physically but there is something about being cooped up in the four walls of your house with silence swirling around and no sounds outdoors except for the cold wind blowing through the trees. Christmas is a time for rejoicing but somehow every Christmas passes and I find myself reflecting. Maybe it is the New Year on the horizon. Maybe its the absence of all the twinkling lights.
Today as I sat in silence and sewed what only can be described as ill put together doll clothes I found my mind dancing around to the sound of the sewing machine. The woman's mind is a funny thing I will tell you. You can start somewhere and end up where you never thought was possible.
I began to think about a book I read last year "Uninvited" By Lysa TerKeurst. I was trying to remember key points in my book but found myself coming up short.
The words kept resonating in my mind and I kept asking God "Why does life feel so lonely sometimes?"
Now let me stop you dead in your tracks and explain. I am so thankful for my children and my husband even as he works miles away half of the year. I know without a shadow of a doubt I will never be alone with Jesus but sometimes lets be honest. The Americanized standard of the church we live today can get pretty lonely. To the point sometimes I find myself oversharing with the cashier at Walmart. We live in such a state of ourselves sometimes we forget about everybody living outside of our "inner circle" or we get into such a place we make our inner circle inaccessible to people.
Then I began to tell myself maybe Jesus intended me to be lonely in this life. Maybe he intended me to be lonely so that when I felt alone only to His arms I would find myself running in seasons of loneliness. I began to research different verses on being lonely and came across just a couple I want to share with you.
In Psalm 25:16 David cried out to God "Turn to me and be gracious to me for I am lonely and afflicted."
In Luke 5:16 it records "Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and pray.
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
My favorite one is that last verse. Loneliness causes broken hearts. It causes you to feel less than, or different. It causes you to feel like the outcast or when you walk into a room that everyone is silently speaking things under their breath about you. I don't believe God ever intended loneliness to define who we are. I believe there are times in our lives that God may use a season of being lonely to help us discover where He wants us to go but He never wants us to be lonely especially in a room filled with other believers.
Did you know that one of the main reasons people leave churches is due to "lack of connection".'
The New Testament is packed full of scripture on "The Church" not the church building but the body of Christ. Hebrews 10:25 tells us "Do not neglect to meet together as in the habit of some, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
A lot of people would say, "Well I see all those people from the church on Sundays and Wednesday. I might smile or say "Hi" if I run into them at Walmart. We are so far from missing the point of what the New Testament is telling us to do if this is the nature of our interactions. God intended us to work together as one body Romans 1:12 tells us that we should be "mutually encouraged by each others faith." Point blank we were intended to share life together.
As I sit and ponder the things swimming around my mind today. I am so grateful that no matter how lonely this world can get, I can turn my eyes upon the beautiful face of Jesus and know that I am loved. No matter if sometimes I can feel like the loneliest person in a crowd I am assured over and over by scripture that God will draw near to me if I do to Him. (Ja 4:8)
As I leave my jumbled thoughts in a chaotic mess of a blog, I leave you with one thought from one of my all time favorite books mentioned above.
"Proximity and activity don't always equal connectivity."
-Uninvited `alone in a crowded room pg 43
