The sunburn and sweat was still fresh on this family of 5. The weekend had been spent at ballfields through sunflower seeds and trying to pass the time waiting for the next game. I felt a twinge of guilt as a mother of 3 devoting so much to just the middle. But her passion and love for the game was almost too much to ignore. Days, weeks, months had been spent preparing for these moments as she waited quietly for her small stolen moments to shine. But lately I had been noticing change in her pale blue eyes. She was worn down, tired, her self esteem had been taking a hit. I figured this is what she needed, another victory to turn her confidence around. That is when it happened. We returned home from a very intense, enthralling weekend tournament and it happened....
..... she left her trophy in the car....
Your prize right? Your purpose? Your proof?
Then as I pondered this thought so much longer I realized I had been so very wrong. The trophy sat among old napkins and sunflower seeds, between mismatched shoes and used napkins. That trophy was as important to that little girl as those items it was placed around. That trophy was not where she found her worth. It was not what she held dear. It was a piece of plastic that wouldn't change her view of herself one tiny bit. Then it hit me.
How foolish that I would ever believe a trophy of any kind on this earth could ever bring true happiness. Even personal success in the highest form would still fall short. You can be given all this world has to offer and drink it up in one fail swoop but it will never truly satisfy.
I sat and thought on this for quite some time. Not sure how to feel or react. We are living in such a culture driven society sometimes it is so easy to shift focus in the wrong direction.
I heard the quote earlier in the week. "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family." So often I fail there. My child who felt so defeated had more insight on direction and importance than I am afraid I did. She didn't need to explain it in theory or pick it apart until there was nothing left. She simply needed to step away and prove to me that she didn't play softball because she won a trophy. She didn't play it for perfection. She played it because she loved it. She could've lost and not brought home a trophy and I believe it wouldn't of made a lick of difference to her because that wasn't her purpose for playing. I don't think she would've ever missed it even If i would've scooped it up and tossed it in the trash to be honest. Sometimes I think as an adult I miss that point. I hope she can teach me. To step back, see the why, fall in love, and leave the trophy in the car. After all a trophy on a shelf isn't going to matter in the grand scheme of life. I hope I remember the valuable lesson about my why in life. What is important, why do I do it. My biggest fear would be to push my child toward unrealistic perfection when she is already perfectly imperfect in the eyes of our Creator .
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