Because today was a good day.

I never realized the difference in my days much. I mean, like the rest I have struggled and had hard days, happy days, emotionally challenging days, stressful days, humorous days. But days were just days. They ticked away just like anything else and then the next day would roll over and we would do it all over again. That was until about 7 weeks ago.

I realized something was wrong when I couldn't remember how I had got there standing in my kitchen. Over the next few weeks, I experienced symptoms I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I had handfuls of hair falling out, my vision was coming and going, the fatigue was crippling, anxiety, every bone, muscle and fiber in my body hurt. Several doctors visits later they confirmed I had thyroid disease. I had to be on thyroid medication, but also my immune system was malfunctioning so I also was dealing with a chronic EBV.  I was glad for answers but kinda standing there looking at the doctor like, "you gotta be kidding me right?" 

My New Years resolution was Joy. And I felt like Satan was sitting there laughing as to mock me and say, boy did I get you!! But instead I've taken each day at a time, I've cried. Especially on the bad days. Today I woke up as I have the last few weeks at 6am. Stumbled through the dark to take my thyroid medicine then retreated back to bed for the next 45 minutes before it is time to get ready for the day. But today I noticed something. I woke up at 6....I could tell I felt okay but I didn't get my hopes up. I've had a few days I thought were going to be good that turned to be days I ended up crying in my pillow. But as I began my daily tasks walking on eggshells waiting for it to crash down around me I realized today was going to be a GOOD day. As the night winds down I feel the fatigue beginning to creep up on me, my head has a slight twinge as I write this and I know my body has had all it can take today.... Im just so so so grateful. Because you never realize how important those good days are until you've had more bad days than you care to count... make your good days count. Hold onto them and squeeze ever ounce of joy from those good days. 

Today I finally broke out a paintbrush and went to work doing some crafting. Something that there were days in just the recent past I thought I might never see again... and I painted. Because today was a good day.